The Devil’s in the Cupcakes…Recovering from the Jehovah’s Witness Mind.
There sat the cupcakes in the corner of the classroom. Already I knew it was one of those days. You know those days, you know if from the opening act.
Cupcakes.
Seems pretty benign but I could already taste the chocolate frosting. I don’t even really like chocolate but I still want it. I usually prefer vanilla with say some strawberries. Or coconut. I would have to say coconut would be my first choice. Or maybe lemon. Never chocolate though except for today.
Act 1:
It would be a long morning. Distraction was my only hope. It wasn’t like I could smell them…or could I? Maybe it was just my scratch and sniff stickers. The Apple Pie sticker on my ABC test smelled real good too. By now you probably think I’m the 100 pound kid in Grade K but I”m not. Just the weird little Jehovah’s Witness kid. I’m actually pretty cute with my long brown pig tail braids.
The cupcakes are due to be served promptly after lunch. 3 more hours. 3 more hours to stop thinking about cake. What’s even better than cake? Mini little cakes with a song to go along with it. Music and cake. Plus the birthday kid got to wear a crown. I want a crown. I love music and well you already know about the cake but I think I would trade them both in for a crown.
Ms. Wright is my teacher. She’s so pretty and nice. The lunch bell had been rung and now we returned to our seats. When I look up at Ms. Wright now she looks a little nervous. I could tell because she was rubbing her hands together the way Mom so often did. She looked my way but I knew what was coming. I liked that it never seemed easy for her.
“Gina, your Mom requested that you go to the office for a bit”.
Yup. Cupcakes=office. Mom had a long talk with Ms. Wright at Kindergarten orientation. It was arranged that Gina would be sent to the office during any pagan birthday celebration. NO holidays of any sort would be celebrated. That included any holiday related class projects, from coloring Santa to making Valentines. Christmas cookies were a definite no,no. I probably would have stayed home from school on my own birthday but usually it fell on Thanksgiving Break. My Mom went into labor with me after Thanksgiving Dinner. That was back when she was worldly, before she knew Jehovah and the Truth. We don’t eat Thanksgiving Dinner. Well, except for that one year the town of Riverton gave us a full Thanksgiving Dinner. Mom said it was because we didn’t have a lot of money because we chose to put Jehovah first in our life. So that year we ate Turkey but we didn’t call it Thanksgiving. I felt thankful but I kept it to myself.
“Ok Gina, Mollie will walk you down to the office now.”
Mollie was my best friend. Well, my best friend in school. She was worldly so I could only have her in my life 8am-3PM. Unless she studied the Bible. I really, really hoped Mollie’s family would study the Bible with Mom like Debbie Bruno’s Mom did. We got to have so many playdates at her beautiful house until her Mom decided she didn’t want to continue to study. I miss her. We see each other at school but now that her family made the choice to deny the Truth we could no longer be friends. I still love her and I try to spend as much time as possible with her at school before she dies in Armageddon.
It’s sad that so many people I like will die. But that is their choice. There is still a little time left to repent and I sure hope they will change their minds before it’s too late. During reading time I love to braid Mollies long, red hair. I think she is the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Noah B’s is in the other Grade K. He’s a JW too. We go in Field Service together a lot. He’s nice. Noah’s older brother Aaron is my favorite boy. He is in 6th grade so he doesn’t talk to me much. Sometimes he plays with us younger kids. I love to play house with him.
I gathered up my book. I always have a book. Of course it had to be approved by Mom first as we had to be careful not to fill our minds with Satan’s teachings. And Satan was everywhere. Especially in those cupcakes.
But Satan wasn’t content with just cupcakes. He is a “roaring lion, seeking to devour someone”. He was always waiting for me. He likes to spook me. I think it makes him laugh. Magic is his speciality and he could shape shift into looking like people who once lived. He knew everything because he is immortal so it was no big deal for him to know personal information about you. If a ghost ever tried to communicate with you one must scream, loud and clear “Get away from me Satan!” Clear boundaries had to be made. We are Jehovah’s people and will not be fooled.
The Smurf’s were one of Satan’s tools along with many rock and roll artists epecially that one that calls herself a witch (Stevie Nicks). The Smurf’s were a big deal in 1979. The Smurf’s were magic and used magic. Mom said since magic is getting so main stream it must be.a sign that Armageddon is near. I heard a story of one time a bible study and her daughter came to the Kingdom Hall. The young daughter had brought her Smurf doll with her. In the middle of the meeting the Smurf doll got up and walked right out of the Hall all by itself. Smurfs must be avoided at all cost. If you or anyone you knew have one they should be burned in a fire right away.
Scooby Doo, Bewitched and I Dream of Jeannie are top on Satan’s list. Santa clause even was spelled similar! That sneaky Santa Claus tried to talk to me once but I screamed and ran away just like Jehovah would have wanted. Halloween was a night to stay home, turn your lights off and pray. I probably wouldn’t be going to school that day either. At least we had a long Christmas break so no one really noticed that we didn’t celebrate, expect for the families we saw during Field Service on Christmas Day. It was a great day for Jehovah’s work as everyone was home.
Mom seemed disappointed that she often had to remind me that we do not speak to the dead. I learned early on that I have to keep some of my nighttime friends to myself. Being an only child (for the first 12 years of life) I spend a lot of alone time in my room. Mom sends me to my room when my dad comes home from work. She tells me to lock the door. Once she knows all is well she would tell me to unlock it.
We live above the old Riverton General Store in Riverton, CT built in 1889. The hall above was once the meeting place of such groups as the Barkhamsted Chamber of Commerce and the Riverton Grange #169, which was founded there in 1908. The dances that took place in the upstairs apartments had been a highlight of the community. My room is an entertaining place for me. It is a busy place. (I never understood it until I experienced my first Jerry Garcia show in 1991 and the Grateful Dead in 1995.) The employees of the nearby Riverton Inn dress in the garb of the 1800’s and easily lends itself to the idea of living in that time period on a daily basis. The Farmington River runs right through the center of town. It beckons fisherman from all over. My heart is drawn to the river. All I ever want to do is soak my feet in it. My connection to the time period is intoxicating. It draws me in and I never want to leave. Time and place do not exist in Riverton.
I’m pretty sure the ladies in the office think there is something wrong with me. They look up from their typing and stare at me. They are probably trying to figure out why I am so weird. I sit at the round table in the front of the office and open my Little House on the Prairie Book. I am allowed to read these as long as I skip the Christmas chapter. Mrs. Cooper brought me a glass of water and a mint and gave me a pat on the back. Laurel Ingells had the best life. I would do anything to be her. I wanted to change my name to Laura. Mom finally got tired of hearing it so she got on the phone to call the name changing place but I got scared and said no. It just didn’t feel right to be named Regina which means “queen” but not be able to wear the birthday crown.
1st grade is when saluting the flag would become part of our morning routine. There would be no standing for it! Man’s government doesn’t rule Jehovah’s people. We are only part of Jehovah God’s Government that began it’s rule in 1914 and would soon step in and cleanse the earth. JW’s still have to follow most laws except joining the military. It would be better to go to jail then serve Satan. Atleast in jail you could witness to the criminals. You could also count your time. Jehovah requires a lot of your time. Every month he required that you write down all the hours you spent preaching the good news of God’s kingdom with others. Also he needed to know how many magazines and books we sold. Bible studies needed to be accounted for. All the numbers would be published in the end of the year reports published by the Watchtower Bible & Tract Society.
I keep track of my own contacts. Return visits are a big part of serving Jehovah. Worldly people often couldn’t hear the “Truth” the first time around but on 2nd or 3rd return visit I could usually get them to buy the Watchtower & Awake Magazine. The Watcher Tower and Awake magazine come out monthly. Mom reads them from front to back and often reads them to me. During the 2nd hour of the Sunday meeting we would have a question and answer bible study from the Watchtower Magazine. All the Kingdom Halls all over the world studied the same topic the same day. My favorite part of the Awake was “Young People Ask”. It was a question and answer about how to do the right things as a kid to bring Jehovah honor. Honestly, though, singing together is really my favorite part.
“Let’s watch how we walk
And watch how we talk
That thus we may be alert and wise
Buying out the opportune time
In this world which Satan lies
Lets watch what we preach
And watch how we teach
All those we meet in God’s Ministry”
My hours in field service don’t count yet because I’m not an approved Publisher. But I will be soon. I hand in my hours anyway so the Elders can see how serious I am. They normally want you to be at least 16 before you can be baptized but I am trying for early acceptance at age 12. I don’t fully understand what shunning means but I know Jehovah wouldn’t ask me to do it unless it was the right thing to do.
Every hour was to be counted. Every book we sold brought us one step closer to being allowed to live through Armageddon. Millions now living will never die. That was the title of the Assembly this year. I love Assemblies. It’s so exciting to meet friends from all over the world! Jehovah doesn’t really want you to go to College either. Armageddon is coming too soon to waste our time going to school. We wouldn’t need college in the New System. We would be perfect then. Our focus should be on saving as many lives as we can now by preaching the good news of God’s Kingdom to everyone we can. Armageddon scares me. But the good news is if I am really, really well behaved I will never have to die. Jehovah will send his son Jesus to destroy the wicked. Millions now living will make it through Armageddon into the Paradise. So now I just have to be really well behaved. What a relief cause dying sounds awful.
Mom really wants Armageddon to come. Every time it thunders and lightening she gets so excited that this might be it! Finally, vindication. Justice, finally! Jesus will ride up on his white horse and destroy the evil doers. Satan’s challenge to God will have been proved wrong and he will be abysses for 1000 years. That’s how we got into this mess in the first place. Satan took the form of the serpent and fooled Eve into eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and bad. Jehovah had specifically told Adam and Eve not to eat from that tree but gave them everything else. Eve messed it up for everyone by taking that first bite bringing sin into the world, and death through sin thus death spread to all men because they had all sinned. Women need mens guidance. They are the inferior being. The weaker flesh.
Mom gets so excited just talking about the end of this system of things. I just get scared. I try to watch the weather on tv to see if a storm is coming. If one comes that wasn’t predicted I look for a very safe place to hide but I know there is no way to truly hide through Armageddon. I just don’t want Jesus to come yet. I don’t want to hear his Trumpet war call. I don’t like thunder and lightening. I keep reminding myself that even if I die now I will be resurrected into paradise but I really would prefer to just avoid this whole death thing.
Last time we played make believe Armageddon in my Bamboo fortress that grew along side our little apartment in Riverton CT, Aaron B. crawled on top of me to protect me.I didn’t mind Armageddon then. How could anything bad happen with his big blue eyes starting into mine? He would protect me he whispered. I already felt safe. I wished he would never let go of me.
Mom takes Armageddon very seriously. When I was 3 she quit her teaching job and started a house cleaning business with her best friend Dale. I love Dale. She is my best friend too. Mom said she will make money more quickly so she can start full time pioneering. Being a full time pioneer means you knock on doors 90 hours per month. In the summer Mom really wanted to to be a “Special Pioneer” and put in 120 hours a month so she did. I did too until I started Grade K but there was still after school and weekends. Pioneering was easier than Grade K. Birthday Cupcakes weren’t a problem. My favorite part of Field Service were the coffee breaks at McDonalds. I could have anything I wanted, even a milkshake. But not the green kind, they were for St. Patricks Day and we did not partake in any form of Holidays.
The only thing worse than days like this were school assembly days. All school assemblies started with the National Anthem. Mom had told Ms. Wright that Jehovah’s People do not stand for man’s government so I wouldn’t get in trouble for not standing from Ms. Wright or the Principal. I just didn’t want to be the only one sitting. I didn’t want to feel everyone looking at me. If I was already standing when the National Anthem started then I didn’t need to sit, that was what Mom had told me. So I would always try to go to the bathroom at the very beginning of the assembly. I really needed to go anyways. My stomach hurt. If I was waking back from the bathroom then I could just walk really slowly. Or maybe I could just spend a little extra time in the bathroom. That might just be my best idea. I really didn’t want Mom to know about this. I would never want to disappoint her or Jehovah by standing for the National Anthem without having been walking from the bathroom. I never seemed to get the timing right. I so often found myself doing the “half sit” hovering between the two positions with my knees shaking.
Satan must love cupcakes, Smurfs, Santa Claus and even this Assembly Hall. I tried to find other Jehovah’s Witnesses in the crowd. There were just a few of us. Were they sitting? Or did they have to go to the bathroom too?